The Body Language of Dating

So, I’m sitting in Starbuck’s on a Sunday afternoon trying to write a couple of blogs for another website, but I find myself watching the couples sitting around me instead.  I find body language fascinating and if you’re someone who loves to people watch, which I obviously am, Starbuck’s, my Starbuck’s anyway, is a great place to do so.

On the one side of the room is a couple in their late teens, early twenties.  They both have books and notebooks and a laptop spread out on the table and are studying.  More than likely, they’re high school or college students.  I’m betting first or second year in college.  They’ve obviously known each other for awhile because she has no problem biting her nails in front of him and he’s reached over and taken sips out of her drink since he finished his own about thirty minutes ago.
Who knows if they’ve had sex, and it’s none of anyone’s business, but one thing for sure is they are intimate friends.  And, they like each other.

On the other side of the room is a couple obviously on a first date.  Or, maybe even a pre-date.  I see that a lot here.  Last Sunday it was a couple in their fifties.  Today, it’s a couple in their mid to late thirties.  She’s Asian, although I bet she’s biracial of some sort.  He’s a white guy who obviously doesn’t own a razor and is dressed in jeans, flip flops, and what is probably a clean red t-shirt.  She has on white shorts, a chic green top and is carrying a cute little handbag, not too expensive, but not cheap either.  She’s slung her cute little handbag on the back of her chair.  They’ve been here for about an hour.

They are obviously not intimate.

They’re sharing one of those little tables here at Starbucks that barely fits a laptop and a cup of tea.  I know this from experience.  He started off sitting forward, his hands open and resting on the table, arms casually crossed in front of him.  His arms are not crossing the invisible mid line of the table which would indicate her space.  Under the table, both legs are facing towards her, above the table he smiles a lot, makes direct eye contact, and touches his face occasionally with a thoughtful resting of his thumb and forefinger against his cheek.

She’s sitting slightly back from the table, legs crossed away from him.  Even her feet are pulling slightly away from him.  Her arms are wrapped around her mid section.  When she takes a drink of coffee it’s almost like they are connected to her body with rubber bands and are pulled right back to where they started.  Her back is firmly against the back of the chair and is as straight as her long black hair.
She just moved her coffee cup a slight inch away from the hand he moved across the center line of the table.

He’s not really in her space, but he does keep making forays across the middle of the table, just small little boundary tests to see what will happen.  She just put her handbag in her lap.

Don’t you feel sorry for him?  He’s interested, or at least willing to be interested in being interested and, poor thing, I don’t think he’s going to hear from her again.

***

Okay, it’s been thirty minutes now and I might be changing my mind.  He might just have a shot at a real date.  She’s relaxed a bit.  Her arms are resting in her lap, she’s even leaning forward a bit.  She just reached down and scratched her ankle, leaning towards him…a smidge.  She’s put her handbag back over the back of her chair.  Her arms are still crossed in front of her, she’s actually hugging her ownshoulder with one hand, but it is a little cold in here.

He pushed back from the table, hands folded and resting on his belt buckle.  (LOL, I love body language.)

Now, she’s leaning across the table, The fingers of one hand lightly resting on the table top.  He scoots forward again, and…she rested her elbow on the table and propped her chin on her hand and laughed at loud.

Well, whatdaya know.  He just might have a shot at a date.  He knows it, too because he just have her a huge white smile, his arms steepled in front of him, hand cupping his chin.

Oh, back on the other side of the room with our young couple?  She just shook her now empty cup at him and pointed towards the counter.  He smiled, stood up and kissed her across the table and went and got more drinks.

Body language.  Fascinating.

And, P.S. Dating sucks ☺

Okay, now back to the other blogs I’m supposed to be writing!